Quietly Turning the Corner

Mountains Move Quietly

Well that's one sub-title that's not going to rank well in the Search Engines, LOL, but it just came to me as a way to explain how major life changes, and major shifts in decision making that sound combative and huge, could happen so quietly, day-by-day, with very little fanfare. I probably will never say this again, but thank you Geology. Mountains move, and continue to move and grow very slowly over long periods of time - but that doesn't change the fact that mountains far larger than any personal demons or struggles any of us have do move - and they do it without noise. Yet a mountain moving even 12 inches would definitely qualify as a lot of movement considering the sheer size and scope.

So in a lot of ways, that analogy seems to be a good one for a lot of what's going on in life right now. The slowness of a mountain moving seems to be, as well. In many ways, I'm all but financially set at this point in that I'm making enough per month, and will continue to do so, to pay off all my bills (which will become FAR easier when I get some roommates to split rent in the apartment), and will continue to make enough to pay off the debts and put some aside.

In a short matter of a couple of months I've basically doubled my monthly (and thus yearly) income, and that amount is still steadily growing. Financially, I'll be in great shape by next year once I work through the dental surgery, past medical bills, and credit card debt. And being someone who craves freedom and travel, that's really big news to me that goes way beyond the financial implications alone.

So the dental surgery is part of the news. The wisdom teeth were pulled in the spring, and now the damage they caused is getting fixed piece by piece. My two front teeth were cleaned, the infection treated, and fillings put in. They look fantastic, and especially after dealing with tooth decay for so long, it's amazing how that little detail brings up the entire self confidence. The other two really bad ones get repaired on Tuesday, and it won't surprise me at all if a jump in self confidence and just overall well being occurs after the fact. If nothing else, it will be nice to not have the stress of knowing I have to get dental work done somehow, some way, without any money to pay for it. This will pretty much cost the entire "best contract I've ever received" but at least it is done and out of the way.

The weight loss is plateauing where it generally always does, but very slowly bit by bit I'm getting closer to my goal, and even when the scale says my weight is the same (or even higher) the clothes keep fitting better and I keep having to buy in smaller sizes, so something is definitely working. Generally feel better and stronger, although some days are better than others. I can run again for the first time since the car accident at the end of 2005, so that was actually quite ridiculously exciting considering I never liked running - but I hate not being able to do something even more.

I walked to Barnes and Noble a few times the past few weeks, and finally decided after so many 16-20 hour work days in a row, I deserved to buy myself a little gift. So I finally spent $30 on the Newly Revised The 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss. I bought the audio book version to listen to it on my laptop, and for those of you who read the original: YES, this is definitely worth the buy. I know the title sounds hypey (and he admits he doesn't like the title at all but marketing forced it) and not everything in the book applies to everyone, but this is a work that can change your life simply by learning to be ultra productive in less times, challenging pre-suppositions, and learning the truth about the sheer amount of options that people have. It also teaches a critical lesson about why you shouldn't mindlessly follow any conventional road to career, college, or success.

This was an excellent pick up, and it was necessary anyway since I somehow lost Disc 2 out of the original 6 disc set I had. The revised version is on 11 discs, to give you an idea of how much more is there. And to me, it's the best type of motivation. Not hyped up or pie in the sky or touchy feely, but filled with case after case after case of people who have learned to live the lives of their dreams by taking risks, using technology, and are enjoying all the benefits of that. They're the type of stories that inspire me. I lived that way for a while to a limited degree, but I want the whole pie and without the oppression of debt that I'm stuck with right now.

And even a few months ago that seemed really far away. Right now...it seems to be getting closer. Now the one issue with the mountain moving thing - I'm not a patient person. It is very easy for me to get frustrated. Why can't I be out of debt RIGHT NOW? Haven't I done enough work? Can I really do this for x more amount of time, etc and so on and so forth.

So even though I realize the corner has been turned financially, I still have to daily fight against the frustration or depression that comes from the bills that still have to be paid and the dental work that still has to be paid, and one more year of high rent before moving to a more reasonable place. Some days this is a complete non-issue, other times it's a sludge fest. But that's part of my nature. I like taking action, and the daily chipping away at a mountain doesn't satisfy the part of me that craves that decisive and bold advancement.

But I've already decided on taking one month off next year and going to visit Belize. Have wanted to for years, and I've noticed when I talk about wanting to do something, life often gets in the way. When I decide to do something, often times it happens. So I made the decision that next year it's going to happen, as is a long road trip covering all the states I haven't managed to visit yet, from Idaho to Massachusetts to Louisiana.

Also looking at buying my first house. That was definitely one of the unexpected developments of the past few weeks. It won't be done this year, but I'm looking at moving next year to a small Missouri town about 45 minutes from Kansas City. I have several of my best friends who live down there, and it's ridiculous how cheap it is to buy a good modern house there. It's ideal for what I want - a nice home base with good friends, a nice quiet area with plenty of outdoors options around, and a good place where I have friends who can keep an eye on it while I'm away for weeks or months at a time enjoying life and having adventures. It's more centrally located to a lot of places than I am now, and close enough I can still visit my sister reasonably often and also be reasonably close to family.

And with the way my businesses are growing and work is going, in theory by the end of next summer I might be able to save up as much as half for the down payment. Or if things keep really going well, then the whole thing.

So a lot's changed, even though I'm still in Cedar Rapids, still in the apartment, still hacking away and typing a way bit by bit, still working the ridiculously long days. Doesn't look any different, but a lot's changed and is changing, and determination was definitely the driving force behind it.

Learning to Change Reality

Changing Reality

I'm not completely sure how to go about this post. I'm kind of hoping for short and sweet since I have a ridiculous amount of work to get done, but on the other hand I like to ramble and this is the closest to a break I get. I'm going to try to keep this post somewhat moderate - especially after the 5,000 word ramble at my freelance writing blog about freelance writing, momentum, and compounding. I think there was plenty of useful tidbits in there, but that was definitely a level of ramble I should probably cut back from in the future.

So the biggest struggles I've had personally in recent times have been a strange duality that at times seem to be punctuated with sudden mood swings. A lot of this I think is stress and emotional trauma catching up after everything that's gone on. Not only was there everything with my sister and the completely unbelievable BS with the way that turned out, but within a month and a half our grandfather died, Lanny Fintel, a great family friend and a major influence in me and my brother's life, also was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, which is going to be fatal. Another close friend of mine is fading out in Oregon after a long battle with HIV/AIDS, and a major writing contract I thought I had fell through.

Beyond this are the "normal stresses" like having to cover rent, student loans, credit card bills, medical bills, food, and having to take on more than my fair share of expenses in the apartment. With one roommate leaving for college, I'm looking at covering nearly 90% of the expenses of a 3 bedroom apartment until I can find more roommates. The business is growing well, but using every spare dime to cover for new expenses or expenses I should be getting help with instead of being able to pay off my own debt or medical bills gets really frustrating - which adds to stress.

The ordinary stress load I have is pretty ridiculous, and adding in all the recent traumatic instances, and to not being able to vent at the time of getting the news. I had to cram it all in, help others, and then cover everyone who didn't cover for themselves. It's been a frustrating process, especially since it has taken a huge bite out of the time I have to work on my businesses, on my projects. These have been quite literally a God send, and a really clear sign to me that things could be going great by the end of the year.

But even good things like new projects and new work still add their own stress...and I've been pretty seriously burned out since September of last year. That's an almost impossible place to start from before going through everything else going on, and today is one of the days where I'm feeling the weight of everything, as today the stress feels like an actual physical weight to the point where it takes more effort to lift my arms, to sit down and type more articles, to get up and keep moving to try to get awake. It's hard today. Tomorrow, I might be 100% focused on the good and it will be easy.

The last few weeks have been very much like that. In part because the stress, exhaustion, and general trauma is catching up to me at a time when actually a lot of things are going EXTREMELY well, and I think this is part of the reason why there is some degree of back and forth. Because I'm not doom and gloom right now, because a lot of the whole, "I can change my reality simply by willing it," hypothesis that I started this blog and this year with has actually been working in a lot of areas in my life fairly dramatically.

I make a lot more in my freelance business working less hours, and I have excellent 15% average a month (which the previously aforementioned rambling Master Dayton blog post alludes to as actually being quite a bit higher) growth in my passive income, which if that compounding keeps up through next year, I'll have the ability to retire by fall of next year, at age 30, even with my unwieldy debt loads from the combination of medical bills and the unwise decision of going to grad school.

I won't, because I have a LOT of awesome projects in the pipeline, because I'm just beginning to realize the potential of what I can pull of the next few years, and because I genuinely really, REALLY enjoy what I do. It's a powerful combination, especially with motivation and compounding on your side.

So where am I at now?

There's a lot going well. I'm on the low side of the 290's for the first time in 5 years, and pushing to get right at 290 by the end of the month. There's a pretty decent chance I could hit my weight loss goals by the end of the year, and the place I'm noticing it the most is with having to buy a lot of new clothes, because even with the belt all the way on its furthest loop, I've had one incident with my shorts falling right off in public. It was pretty freaking funny. If you can't laugh at yourself when that happens, when can you?

The freelancing ceiling has also shot up dramatically for me. If I worked the same number of weekly hours as last year, I could clear 60 grand this year. I'm not going to, because I want more time to work on my business start ups, my creative projects, and give myself some time to do some camping, work out, and take care of the other things on my wish list for the year. But I can work less (i.e. work very reasonable hours) and still make well over 30 grand a year while developing the rest of my projects that are really beginning to take shape. As my per hour keeps creeping up, those numbers are going to get even better.

My passive income is outright compounding, which Einstein once described as one of the most fascinating forces in the universe and I can definitely see why now that I'm experiencing how it can work first hand.

Also contemplating a possible move to Tampa, Florida, based on a job offer. I'm somewhat in the air on that one. I absolutely love the city of Tampa, and it is possible that I might have a great friend moving there, which would be a big shove for me towards the "Definitely" category. The job itself isn't impressive in and of itself, but the amount of work they expect per week and would be very happy with I could do in 20 hours a week, and I would have the ability to work off-site from the office - which is a HUGE plus for me because that leads to steady pay, gives me enough time to keep my freelance work where I want it, and still have time to work on my projects. The combined pay from all 3 would definitely equal a lifestyle upgrade, as well.

The biggest hold up for me right now is a combination of recognizing a need for stability, and also wondering how a move would affect some of my projects and burgeoning business plans. Most of what I do is online, which for freelancing means I don't have to worry (and ditto with passive income building) - but a lot of my developing business options involve partnerships, and until the foundation is solid enough, that's something you don't want to take a chance with. So that's just going to be up in the air until late August, because that's how long I have to decide on the job offer.

And if I decide later I do want to move, that's still a completely realistic option. It's very nice to control my own income and be my own employer.

Despite some unexpected medical expenses and having to pay a lot more of the apartment expenses than I had budgeted for, I'm still making really steady progress on the debts. Under $80,000 now, which is a ridiculous total number for not having a house or car, but that's reality after grad school and the American medical system. But I'm under $80,000, which still feels like a huge milestone.

And if you want any indication of how confident I am about how things are going, I expect all those debts to be paid off in less than 3 years.

The confidence levels are increasing, and I'm no longer wondering about if I'll ever make it big time with my businesses and my writing projects, it's only a when...and I'm confident the when is a lot closer than I originally would have thought.

So I hope everyone is doing well - and if you have any recommendations for how to quickly re-charge the batteries through burn out when vacation isn't an option and a day off isn't an option, I'm all ears.